Since I have
four five followers right now, I figured it would allow myself a small rant on my gym frustrations. This came to me (literally, almost poked me in the eye) last night on the treadmill as a girl stretched. Onto my treadmill. Fingers in the face situation.
(Sorry, I couldn’t help myself…above image source)
I must have looked like someone shot me as her stretttchingggg arms cruised towards my face and almost stuck me. Directly. In. The. Eye. I exaggerate sometimes. Ok, more than sometimes. But this is no joke my
four readers /friends (PS. Hi Mom & Dad! two of my four…) 😉 Many things came to mind. First was “I should have stuck to that amazing 1 hour morning spin class and not tacked on this DANGEROUS 3 mile run” (Yes, sometimes I am dramatic too…) but I can’t refuse a pretty blonde co-worker asking me to accompany her to the gym for a quick run after work 🙂 ….so I tried to distract my mind with random thoughts and finish that pesky run, and I began to think about my gym pet peeves. So bear with my while i bitc-uhhh list a couple of gym pet peeves:
1. Sports-bra-only-in-the-winter-elliptical/treadmill-girl. Sorry if you’re her. I still like you, except at the gym. Call it bitter apples, but here goes: So it’s 10 degrees outside. Snowing, perhaps. And you’re bouncing up and down on the elliptical
half mostly naked. I get it. Nothing jiggles when you move except, well, what your mama gave yah…But come on. It’s really not hot in the gym. You won’t overheat with a tank top on. Wear the sheer white one which shows your washboard abs! Rub it in! I get it, I like bread and wine too much to look like you. But, jealousy aside, put on a shirt, chickie. (source for image)
2. Guy-Who-Sweats-WAYTOOMUCH…You know this guy. There is a PUDDLE behind him on the floor. A PUDDLE!?! His shirt is see through, I’m gagging just trying to describe this too you. I really have no solution (he’ll just sweat through the next shirt he puts on, so he’s not an easy fix) but this is just NASTY. Ew. Glad I got that out.
3. Competitive-Runner-Next-To-Me...Seriously. I am NOT RACING YOU. I am slow. Very slow. Stop looking over at my snails pace while you look like Paula Radcliffe. I should bring a towel with “I know, I’m not that fast” to put over my treadmill screen….
4. Way too much lotion/way too naked in the locker room. I don’t think I need to paint a clearer picture for you…I get it, you love your body. Love it in the corner, perhaps? Not center-
stage-lockeroom. Before I’ve had my coffee.
5. Hair-Down-Perfectly-Made-Up: Again, call me bitter or jealous. But if your hair is down in flowing, gentle waves or perfectly straight and you have a full face of makeup? You’re making me look bad, sista. So move it. CoughWHITNEYPORTCough I saw you at my gym a couple of months back with said ‘beachy waves’ wandering around… Busted. (source for image below)
Ok, ok…Enough about my gym pet peeves. What are YOURS? Or just pet peeves in general. Like the word MOIST. I mean who really doesn’t abhor that word…
Almost time for the WEEKEND! On tap for moi:
So please, share with me your pet peeves so I don’t look like the ONLY judgmental beyotchahh at the gym. And your weekend plans…?
ps) this is why dogs turn on humans. But isn’t she the PRETTIEST ballerina-princess???